Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

:omfg:
 
©2003-2009 ~Ingested-Truth
:iconingested-truth:

Artist's Comments

this is something i have been writting in all day..on and off...

yup

its unfinished..soo yeah....

THANKS BAX FOR THE PREVIEW PIC!!!

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconfillerinverse:
*lies on the floor* Nice poem Ashton, flows smoothly...
:icontakniccals:
-Pokes Jen with a stick- Can't wait for the full version, kid.

--
We are never meant to be taken seriously and we expect to be taken very seriously on that subject.
:icondarknessupon:
I like it alot..good job I like the strong emotion in it too...cant wait for more

--
Please take this
And run far away
Far away from me.
I am Tainted
The two of us
Were never meant to be
All these Pieces
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
Nothing
You meant everything
Everything to me


NIN
:icondarknessupon:
I like it alot..good job I like the strong emotion in it too...cant wait for more

--
Please take this
And run far away
Far away from me.
I am Tainted
The two of us
Were never meant to be
All these Pieces
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
Nothing
You meant everything
Everything to me


NIN
:iconromanticpuck:
I liked it, the first stanza seemed the best so far, and I love the line " screaming, im "sold"

the only hitch I see is in the flow in this line, "All in line for inspection" and this one, "is this my redemption?" they seem one syllable off for the rhythm. otherwise the first stanza flows brilliantly, and I love the internal rhyme.

Fantastic WIP, and I would love to see the final when its done. :)

-reg-

--
"I've seen plays that were better then this, honest to god PLAYS!" - Simpsons (homer)

Join the Comment Revolution: [link]
:iconm0n0:
i like your style.
the emotions i get from this poem feel all too familar.
"pen and paper
my turn for reflection"
i don't know what id do without that.

--
...
Can anybody see the light
Where the morn meets the dew and the tide rises

Did you realise, no one can see inside your view
Did you realise, forwhy this sight belongs to you
...
-p0rtishead
:iconromanticpuck:
WIP=work in progress...your welcome!

--
"I've seen plays that were better then this, honest to god PLAYS!" - Simpsons (homer)

Join the Comment Revolution: [link]
:iconericthecrow:
this is great it made me wanna cry so it is really REALLY gravy!!

Details

December 1, 2003
589 bytes
12.0 KB
315×404

Statistics

16
5 [who?]
113 (0 today)
33 (0 today)

Share

Link
Embed
Thumb

Site Map