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December 1, 2003
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--
We are never meant to be taken seriously and we expect to be taken very seriously on that subject.
--
Please take this
And run far away
Far away from me.
I am Tainted
The two of us
Were never meant to be
All these Pieces
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
Nothing
You meant everything
Everything to me
NIN
--
Please take this
And run far away
Far away from me.
I am Tainted
The two of us
Were never meant to be
All these Pieces
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
Nothing
You meant everything
Everything to me
NIN
the only hitch I see is in the flow in this line, "All in line for inspection" and this one, "is this my redemption?" they seem one syllable off for the rhythm. otherwise the first stanza flows brilliantly, and I love the internal rhyme.
Fantastic WIP, and I would love to see the final when its done.
-reg-
--
"I've seen plays that were better then this, honest to god PLAYS!" - Simpsons (homer)
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the emotions i get from this poem feel all too familar.
"pen and paper
my turn for reflection"
i don't know what id do without that.
--
...
Can anybody see the light
Where the morn meets the dew and the tide rises
Did you realise, no one can see inside your view
Did you realise, forwhy this sight belongs to you
...
-p0rtishead
--
"I've seen plays that were better then this, honest to god PLAYS!" - Simpsons (homer)
Join the Comment Revolution: [link]
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